-Eleanor Roosevelt
I loved high school. I think it was mostly because I played sports and I had an opportunity to do great things with that. Had I been more insightful at the time, I would have realized that I needed that structure in my life and went to play college baseball. It's not that I didn't make an effort, it's just that the effort I made was poor. After my senior season of baseball, I decided that playing in college was something that I wanted to do. I knew the opportunity was there if I wanted it so I gave in, partially.
A teammate and I were scheduled to go to a couple of junior colleges to try out, but for three weekends in a row they were rained out. I took that, and the fact that I didn't have reliable transportation, as a sign that I should stay and attend school at MSU. It was a bad decision. Normally, staying home and attending college wouldn't be such a bad idea, but for me that wasn't the case. Seven years later I still don't have a degree.
I was working with Ronnie today when I came across something weird, a bunch of dried up worms on patio concrete. I felt bad for them, they weren't alive any longer. I take that back. Technically, I didn't feel bad for them because "they" were no longer "them", but you get the idea. That empathy lasted a few seconds before I thought "worm WTF. what are you doing on concrete in the first place?" Sure it had rained, but those worms made the decision to stay way longer than the wetness of the patio and it's at that point that their lack of survival had to become unempathetic.
The worm story goes way beyond empathy though. Here's the context: Originally, the worm thought he made the right decision. He wanted some patio wetness. Thinking that he or she would spend time lounging on concrete, it didn't think about its options once the rain stopped and things began to dry up. The clouds parted and the sun came out and someone was left out to dry, guess who.
I've been out of school for 7 years and during that time I have wasted a lot of time thinking that I could lounge around forever. The rain stopped, the clouds opened up, and I have come close to drying. I've been unchallenged, unmotivated, uninspired, and have created a world that lacks any structure when that is something I require to be successful.
I succeeded in school because I had to. I was in AP classes because I knew that I would be challenged and I liked that. I couldn't fail because I played sports, I was motivated. I looked at the success of my peers and wanted to match that, I was inspired. So now, left with a decision to make, I want to look fear in the face again. I want to know that I have nobody but myself to fall back on. Maybe that will finally light a fire under my ass and maybe I'll finally start moving forward. Or maybe I'm just making another unwise decision. Nevertheless, as many dried up worms as I saw, there had to be some that made it back to the earth where it is being enriched and getting fat, just so that stubborn bird will wake up one morning and take him. But at least he made it back.
Ninja's on decisions:
A teammate and I were scheduled to go to a couple of junior colleges to try out, but for three weekends in a row they were rained out. I took that, and the fact that I didn't have reliable transportation, as a sign that I should stay and attend school at MSU. It was a bad decision. Normally, staying home and attending college wouldn't be such a bad idea, but for me that wasn't the case. Seven years later I still don't have a degree.
I was working with Ronnie today when I came across something weird, a bunch of dried up worms on patio concrete. I felt bad for them, they weren't alive any longer. I take that back. Technically, I didn't feel bad for them because "they" were no longer "them", but you get the idea. That empathy lasted a few seconds before I thought "worm WTF. what are you doing on concrete in the first place?" Sure it had rained, but those worms made the decision to stay way longer than the wetness of the patio and it's at that point that their lack of survival had to become unempathetic.
The worm story goes way beyond empathy though. Here's the context: Originally, the worm thought he made the right decision. He wanted some patio wetness. Thinking that he or she would spend time lounging on concrete, it didn't think about its options once the rain stopped and things began to dry up. The clouds parted and the sun came out and someone was left out to dry, guess who.
I've been out of school for 7 years and during that time I have wasted a lot of time thinking that I could lounge around forever. The rain stopped, the clouds opened up, and I have come close to drying. I've been unchallenged, unmotivated, uninspired, and have created a world that lacks any structure when that is something I require to be successful.
I succeeded in school because I had to. I was in AP classes because I knew that I would be challenged and I liked that. I couldn't fail because I played sports, I was motivated. I looked at the success of my peers and wanted to match that, I was inspired. So now, left with a decision to make, I want to look fear in the face again. I want to know that I have nobody but myself to fall back on. Maybe that will finally light a fire under my ass and maybe I'll finally start moving forward. Or maybe I'm just making another unwise decision. Nevertheless, as many dried up worms as I saw, there had to be some that made it back to the earth where it is being enriched and getting fat, just so that stubborn bird will wake up one morning and take him. But at least he made it back.
Ninja's on decisions:
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