I don't go to the grocery store all that much. The only times that I really go are when food rations are extremely low and when there aren't any deer in my neighborhood to kill, with my bare hands. But when I do go, I tend to be conscious of other shoppers, my squeaky cart, and it's jacked up wheel. I try to not get suckered into buying things that I never wanted, things that are placed so strategically throughout the store that they crush my will and comform my mind, leading me to think I'm an average American consumer and that I need fatty cakes to function at an above average level. I used to go to the store for two reasons, the free samples and the free cookie that I could always locate in the bakery. And then I grew up, got a job, and moved out of my mom's house, which defaulted me to solo status. No more free cookies (after about 13 I think I started to feel stupid, I thought there was really not any need to push little kids to the ground so that I could get the first one), the candy aisle meant less to me, and I discovered a fondness for the express lane.
The first few times I went to the grocery store alone I always forgot that I needed some sort of basket to put things in. It would never be obvious to me until I ran out of places to put the items that I was holding (so that's why they made cargo pants....?). And when I did start remembering to get baskets I would always, by default or bad luck (whichever one you believe in), get the one that turned sideways or the one that was so lopsided the fourth wheel would barely touch the ground. I would almost always keep my shopping at a minimum. Making sure that I qualified for the express lane was my first priority, second was beating others there. I'd have to say that, for the most part, I did a pretty good job.
I had to make a trip to the store this past weekend. It was one of those meaningful, yet meaningless trips. All that I had to get was lettuce, tomatoes, and a bag of ice, things that I couldn't buy at the convenience store down the street. I got my items and headed towards the front. As I got to my coveted express lane, I saw a lady in front of me. She had a grocery cart with items in it. By items I don't mean a couple of items, a few items, or 12 items, I mean exceeding express lane limit items. I was baffled so I looked up just to see if the express lane had changed its criteria due to high oil prices (ok not really, I just wanted to include that because everyone seems to be talking about that these days), but the limit was still 12. I didn't know what to do, so I started counting. I got to around 15 and I stopped. She had at least ten little jars of baby food alone! Do you think I'll feel sorry for you if you have baby food? Ok, maybe it softened my heart a little bit, but the lettuce head and tomato that I was holding were making my arm cold and I needed a reason to be mad. I didn't think I would be behind someone who disregarded the unwritten rule of a lane that attributes its popularity to the word express. But that's where I found myself, this time I lost. Next time I'm running to the front of the line, and I will take an extra head of lettuce to throw at anybody who tries to get in my way.
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