Since my last blog was about the greatest video game player in the world I must mention that the hamburglar was probably the greatest hamburger thief in the world. Throughout my childhood, I saw the hamburglar on tv commercials and he always had a hamburger in his hand. Not only did he always have a hamburger, he was always running way faster than any human being was able to run. I used to think that it didn't make sense because if he ate hamburgers all the time then he should have been fat and slow. Silly me, what did I know? As a tribute, Mcdonald's even started putting him in happy meals. I guess they figured if you can't beat him, glorify him! But this isn't about the hamburglar, arguably the best quarterpounder bandit ever, it's about a dude who is possibly the worst womans used undergarment crook on....the planet.
His name is Bruce, he has a mustache, and is from Oklahoma. How could anybody not see this coming? On five consecutive nights, Oklahoma's finest stole bras and underwear from the same woman at the same house. On the sixth night, his mustache finally caught up with him. He was caught by the husband of the woman and beaten with the leg of a baby's crib. The police were called and he was hauled off to jail, possessing only the underwear that he was wearing.
The beating looks pretty bad. He almost looks like the laundry he was trying to steal. How humiliating, but hat doesn't compare to being known as the worst women's underwear pirate of the past century, or getting beaten over the head and in the face with the leg of a baby's crib.
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