The West Nile - Some Say It Is A Virus, Others Say It's One Side Of A River, I Say I'm Doomed

Within a year or two you will be hearing my name. Sadly, it will be for all the wrong reasons. No, I don't plan on committing mass homicide, becoming a famous musician/actor, having my own tv show, or crawling on my knees from here to Maine in some sort of protest (because I'd stop about 5 minutes away from my house, get up and come back home). I think you will be hearing my name because I will be one of the victims of the West Nile virus.

One of the reasons that I am confident about this is the fact that I live in Texas, where the summers are humid and the rain we do get is more responsible for birthing mosquitos than it is for watering crops. I'm also that guy who doesn't like going to the doctor unless pain is unbearable. As a result, I feel that I am going to die from this virus due to the fact that I don't know exactly what the symptoms of the west nile virus are. Because of this, I decided to look them up so that I could give you a more detailed explanation on why I'm doomed:

Serious symptoms include:
High fever - This doesn't really impress me, the Nile has to come harder than this for me to seek medical attention
Headache - So far it's sounding like I filled a whole bowl with cereal before realizing that we were out of milk, I'm probably just in a bad mood.
Neck Stiffness - I must have slept wrong, I'm kinda pissed now.
Stupor - It must have been a late night.
Disorientation - It must have been a really, really late night.....who brought me home?
Coma - I swear that I fall into some kind of coma every time I sleep, it's called R.E.M and it doesn't sing "Losing My Religion" or "Everybody Hurts".
Tremors, Convulsions, Muscle Weakness, Memory Loss - Sounds like someone had a crush on me....and that I shouldn't have drank the punch.
Paralysis - Ok, I have the freaking West Nile Virus.....my blog came true after all....how could I have not seen this coming?

This afternoon I made the mistake of going outside for an extended period of time without the assistance of mosquito spray. I almost made the mistake of wearing shorts, but who can blame me? The entire time I probably looked liked I was crazy to someone in the distance, mainly because I was swatting things in the air, staring at my legs to kill anything that landed on them, and periodically running in place. I normally keep my testosterone in control, but I killed more mosquitos on this day than I have in a long time. Satisfying? Nah, because it made me mad that they were picking on me. Justified? Certainly. My opening paragraph says that I still have a year or two before a mosquito takes advantage of me, how's that for an ending?